Tag Archive | trials

Worthy of prayers

Day 10 of 31 Days of October – Roses Among The Thorns

I have a thought to ponder.  How to be worthy of others’ prayers for me?

I read about this idea in a book by Philip Yancey, Prayer, Does It Make A Difference?  He tells about committing to pray for a fellow author one day a week because he knew the pressures she would face.  She wrote to him later:

“No one had ever once said he was praying for me.  Consequently I felt obligated to be worthy of your prayers, to remain a Christian writer, to do it as well as I could.”

I know people continue to pray for Sweet William and me through this long trial.  I am amazed they still do it consistently.  I think surely they are weary of it.  Apparently not.  I know they pray and not just because they tell me.  We feel their prayers lifting us up above our own ability to do what we didn’t think we could.

Because of their prayers, we still stand, strengthened by a God who knows what He is doing even when we do not.  Like the Christian author Yancey wrote about, I too want to be worthy of those prayers.  I want to be faithful to the tasks given me, to be gracious in word and deed, to be joyful in trials, to be thankful in every circumstance.

I want their prayers to show off in my life to the glory of God through Christ Jesus.

Steadfast prayers for us call me to a higher plane of discipline in my own praying.

And so I pray to my Heavenly Father, Let me worthy of their prayers, and help me be devoted to pray.

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Will you join me on my October journey as I challenge myself to write for 31 days?  I’d love to have you come along.

For a list of the days of October, go here please.

Got questions?

I have always had questions.

When just a tiny tot, I began to ask questions. It was a way for me to understand this giant world I had entered. “Why is the sky blue and why is the grass green?” “Why do I have to tie my shoes?” “Why can’t I ride my bike in the street?” “Why do I have to wear this?”

Little people ask a lot questions. They ask “why?” and “how come?” and “why not?” They ask it to infinity it seems, until mom or dad resorts to those words we promise ourselves we will never say to our children, “Because I said so!”

When I was growing up painfully shy, I was not very adept at social interactions with people other than family. So I read as much as I could to be better at it. I learned from the teen magazine I subscribed to that asking questions is a good way to make conversation.

The magazine told me to ask questions to find out about the other person, that people love to talk about themselves, especially boys, which was of prime interest to me at that age.

I tried it and found it was true. People do like to tell their own stories. Most of the time I didn’t have to say much, just ask the questions.

Through the years, I’ve continue to ask questions not so much because I’m still painfully shy but because I truly want to get to know people. I learn things like where he is from, how many children she has, what line of work he is in, where they go to church, what his hobbies are, and what brings the light to her eyes and her heart.

As a result of asking so many questions, I’ve become a pretty good listener.

I’ve been asking a lot of questions lately. Sweet William and I have been walking a long stretch of road that has brought many questions to my mind.

A lot of “whys” have sliped into my prayers. A lot of “how longs” and “how is this going to turn out for good and for Your glory, Lord?”  I just want to understand the purpose of it all.  If I just knew the reasons, then maybe I could endure it with more patience and grace.

So I’m listening.

But I’m not getting many answers, as least not the ones I long to hear.

My questions are mostly met with silence.

When I was a child I remember someone saying “You should never question God!” It was a rather fearful-sounding admonition.

Yet when I read the Bible, I find there were quite a few people asking questions of God.

The Psalms are full of questions like “How long O Lord?” (6:3) and “Will you forget me for ever?” (13:1) and “Why, O Lord, do you reject me and hide Your face from me?” (88:14)

Moses asked God, “Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease You . . .?” (Numbers 11:11)

Job asked a lot of questions.  He didn’t get the answers he wanted either.

I am glad that God is patient with me and my questions.  I don’t need to be afraid to cry out my pain and frustration in the safe haven of His tender mercies.

I’ve come to understand that while I can ask all l I want, it doesn’t mean I will get an answer when or how I would like it.

The bottom line is, God is God and He answers to no one.

God is in no way obligated to explain Himself to me or anyone else. His plan is from eternity to eternity, a time line I will never fathom. His thought process is not something my pea-brain can grasp. His ways are beyond figuring out.

All my questions spiral down to one.   That question is “Who?”

Who is like the Lord God?

Who can set the universe in order?  Who causes the wind to blow, the seas to roar, the moon to shine?  Who makes a baby smile, a caterpillar turn into a butterfly, a rose to smell so sweet?  Who loved me so much that He was willing to die rather than let me go?

Who can take the darkest night and shine His glory in the middle of it?

Though I may not be able to make sense of the present, some things become quite clear.  God’s love for me is demonstrated in ways I count daily.  Though His voice may be silent, I see His hand of grace in so many things.

Can I trust a God who does not answer my questions but instead asks me to be still and to know Him in joys yet to be discovered? Can I trust His promise that  all things will work together for my good whether is seems like it now or not? Can I believe that this present pain will produce future glory?

My answer to that question is “Yes!” No other answer will do.

 

Dear reader, thank you for returning after such a long time of me being away from Strengthen by Grace. Two months of intense care-giving to Sweet William has left me with little time and fewer words. By God’s grace, we will meet more frequently in days to come.

A little help from my friends

Yesterday did not go as I planned. 

My Sweet William and I went to Audubon Hospital for a scheduled heart catheterization on Bill’s heart.  I was hoping, expecting for something routine like a stint in a mildly blocked artery.  After the test, the doctor’s report did not meet my expectations.  One artery was completely blocked and two others were 80 percent blocked.  Open heart surgery was the only recommended option.

I’m glad there was a door frame on my immediate left for me to fall against.

We learned that the heart surgeon had an opening at 2:30 (sounds like making a hair appointment!).  Bill made the decision to go for it since he had not eaten or drank anything since the day before.  The next few hours were a flurry of medical tests and preparations for surgery.  I began making calls to family, friends, and coworkers.  My mind started mentally adjusting to this new information, changing all my plans for the next few days, even weeks.

Time and again as I talked with someone on the phone, he or she said, “Let me pray with you right now.”  And how I needed it.  I was trying to be calm and composed on the outside, to be strong for Bill; on the inside, however, I was crumbling into pieces.

My friend, Margie, had come at 8 am to be with me through the heart cath.  At the news of impending surgery, she set her mind to stay with me throughout the long day.

Two men from our Sunday School class, Paul and Ronnie, and a couple of my family members, Danny and Linda, had also been with us during the test.  They left and went home around 11 am.  When they heard surgery was imminent, all four of them returned in the afternoon, holding vigil with me.

Staff in the heart wing were divinely appointed to be there for us.  A man named Darrell helped to prepare Bill for surgery while they talked about the goodness of the Lord.  One of the surgical nurses told Bill she would say a prayer with him before he went under the anesthetic.

Thankfully, I did not have to walk this day alone.  People kept arriving, pastors, Little Flock staff, our Sunday School teacher and his wife, and more family.  Our son, Travis, his sweet Renee and the three grandchildren came bringing hugs and smiles.  My 89-year-old dad came rolling up in a wheelchair, pushed by my stepmother, Esther.  Calls came to me and to Travis, assuring us that prayers were being lifted up toward the throne of grace for a successful surgery for Bill and strength for us.

About 8 pm when surgery was over and the recovery room gave way to an intensive care room, we were allowed to see Bill, tubes and wires connected in so many places.  My dad said a short prayer.  Bill would spend the night being carefully monitor and attended.

As was recommended and urged by caring people, I went home to try to rest my weary body and mind in preparation for the long days that follow heart surgery.  I decided to briefly look at Facebook.  I was astonished to see so many comments from friends of mine, Travis’ and Renee’s saying they were praying for all  of us.  The messages kept me scrolling down the screen as I read each one.

It sometimes takes an event such as an emergency surgery to remind me what a vast circle of love encompasses us.  The promised prayers were lifting us up, giving us strength to endure, filling us with God’s love. 

A very profound thought comes from John 13:35.  It reads,

“This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other,” (The Message).

I stand as a witness to this truth.  God’s amazing plan was that we would need each other.  As His children, we love others because He first loved us.

Friends rally around when you are hurting.  They come, they care, they offer, they pray, they stay.  Tonight I feel so blessed to be the recipient of this kind of friendship, this kind of love.  It is God’s hand extended and one of the ways He makes Himself known in the world.