January ignites something in me. Clean out. Sort through. Cast off. Organize what’s left. It compels me to look in every drawer and every closet. It’s amazing, or maybe not, how much can accumulate in a year. More clothes than I can wear. Gadgets a plenty. Books I haven’t had time to read. And let’s don’t even talk about the junk drawer.
It’s a freeing experience to fill the box for Goodwill and let things go. I see space when I open the closet, the drawer, and that is a good feeling.
So it shouldn’t really surprise me that as I am reading 1st John preparing for a Bible study soon to begin, the tender nudging of the Holy Spirit wants to open an area in my life. It’s something I’ve been dealing with for too long. Struggling to let it go. Wanting to be free of it but still clinging to the “I’ve been wronged” part of it. My so-called righteous indignation that I was accused falsely, that my motives were questioned stirs up hurtful words and cutting remarks from years ago.
I thought I was over it. Apparently not.
The clever enemy who knows my weak points, prods with reminders. “Remember that time . . . ” And I give in and pull it out, examine it and let it stir up old feelings. The junk drawer of my life.
So tender are Jesus’ whispers, reminding me this is not the best use of my life. Old feelings are taking up room where He wants the fresh breezes of the Spirit to flow freely.
When confronted with Truth, what else can I do but bow the knee. And so I confess. Again. God wants me to experience the full forgiveness. Freedom. It’s something only He can completely provide.
So I pray to forgive once again. I confess and ask for His healing work in me. I cling to the assurance of John’s beautiful words:
I’m done with this clutter in my heart. I clearly expect there will be more promptings to deal with other areas. God works like that, taking me as I am but never willing to leave me there.
I want a clean heart. I want space for the good work of God in me.
A fresh start for the new year. It’s a good way to begin again.