More sickness. More surgeries. More hospital stays. So begins 2012.
I have so many wonders, so many unanswered questions. I place one foot in front of the other and take the next step. I cannot see what is beyond this minute. So I do what is necessary right now.
I read the Bible and hope for a “word” from the Lord. I search my favorite Bible for those underlined or highlighted Scriptures that have helped sustain me before.
My eyes fall upon Psalm 46.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. [You, O God, have been so before] Therefore we will not fear [I confess that sometimes I am afraid of what is ahead] though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. [It feels just like this]
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall [does that mean me, Father?]; God will help her at break of day . . . [Can I hold onto this promise?]
The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.”
And so I learn that trusting is all there is. That it is an ongoing lesson. Some days it is easy. Some days it is not.
And I learn that giving thanks reminds me of God’s goodness when the clouds gather.
I count my blessings. I look for the graces that fall all around me.
- A beautiful full moon early this morning
- Faithful little Buddy, our Maltese, who sticks by my wherever I go
- Prayers going up for us from family, friends, and even people I don’t know
- Offers to help and being able to call for it when I need it
- Praise music on the CD player that invites me to join in the song
- Health professionals who do their job diligently and with kindness
- Sweet William’s sweetness in spite of his pain
- The familiar things around me that bring comfort
- The little black Honda that gets me where I need to go
- The necklace I wear constantly that reads “by grace alone” and witnesses to eyes that see
I count graces because I must. It is where I stand (Romans 5:2).
I count graces because it gives me strength (Hebrews 13:9).
I count graces because the Father has lavished it upon me (Ephesians 1:7).
Grace. Amazing. How sweet the sound.