I went to the Lord’s Clinic to have a check-up. I was hoping to get a pat on the back for lots of good works and a “well done.” Instead it was confirmed I had some major health issues.

When Jesus took my blood pressure, He confirmed I was low in tenderness and compassion.

He took my temperature. The thermometer registered 102 degrees of anxiety.

He ran a heart catheterization and found I needed several bypasses since my arteries were blocked with envy and hatred.

Next I went to orthopedics, complaining of some pain in my legs. Jesus said I had not been bowing on my knees in prayer enough.

After an eye examine, Jesus told me I was shortsighted, not seeing past myself. There was also a tendency to magnify the shortcomings of my brothers and sisters. Plus there was this great big beam in my eye causing me to be very critical.

When I told Him about some deafness I was experiencing, the diagnosis was that my ears were stopped up with the world’s message. It was keeping me from hearing the Truth.

After the exam was complete, I asked about the bill and was shocked by how much it was. It was way beyond what I could pay. Then I heard the good news . It had already been paid by Jesus.

Jesus then took me aside for a consultation. He gave me His healing remedy which was in the shape of a cross.

He said I should call on Him frequently since He is available day and night, at just the whisper of His name. Why, He even makes house calls at all hours.

He gave me some instructions to follow each day. Here they are:

I absolutely must start exercising my faith on a daily basis.

Every morning, take a full glass of gratitude.

Before I leave the house, take a couple of large spoonsful of brotherly love.

Every hour, sip from the Fruit of the Spirit and receive doses of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

At midday, drink one heaping glass of humility.

When getting home, take an extra dose of love for one another.

Before retiring, have a bedtime snack of the Bread of Life. Wash it down with an ample amount of the water of the Word.

When ready for bed, kneel and lay everything at Jesus feet. Then receive two caplets of a clear conscience.

For so He gives His beloved sleep.

Dear Readers, a sweet friend sent me something similar to this, and I made a few changes to it.  I do not know the originator, and I do not mean to commit plagiarism.  I wish to thank the author, whoever you are.  If you’re out there, please step forward.

I always enjoy hearing back from you.  Please leave a comment.